When does a boy become a man? The physical changes happen naturally, but in addition big changes need to happen on a mental and emotional level. If this doesn’t happen we end up with adult men acting like boys. The growth into healthy adulthood is a process that cannot be left to youngsters alone. It is a transition that needs to be supported with care and knowledge by a group of elders. 

In traditional cultures all over the world families and communities gather to observe and celebrate the transition of boys to young men (or girls to young women). They see this as one of the most important phases in a person’s life. In a so called ‘rite of passage’ a boy hears stories, faces challenges and is honored for his unique gifts and talents. He experiences what it means to be a man by interacting with a group of elder men with more knowledge and life experience.

In our western society these important traditions have been lost unfortunately, resulting in many young people in search of a form of initiation themselves. The pressure from the outside world is significant. Internet, (social) media and peers are the largest sources of information. As a result, teenagers estrange from their parents, there is no or little ‘real’ communication, computer addiction through gaming or pornography, excessive drinking and/or drug abuse and senseless violence become commonplace. Boys in particular are testing the boundaries and sometimes with fatal consequences.